St. Patrick's Cathedral

A favorite place of mine in all of NYC is St. Patrick's Cathedral. Very easy to check out by way of Rockefeller Center, I try to always at least walk by when I'm in the city or on a good day, make it inside.

I don't know what drives my fascination with cathedrals but I think they are often beautiful structures with a mysterious darkness given they are supposed to hold so much light.

The statues representing saints all around the cathedral are mysterious to me. I wasn't raised Catholic or with any religion at all so I learn about each saint every time I go, reading the placards before the statues and deciding who to light a candle in front of.

I pay my $2 and light a candle each time I go. This time, the list for whom I lit the candle had grown beyond what I had expected when I was last there. I usually feel tears well up and take a moment to remember some people I loved but this time, tears came and I didn't stop them. I lit the candle first for my brother. It is the first time I talked to God since he died in October. I have said that I'm unsure as to whether God exists but in that uncertainty, there is hope that someone was listening to me. I lit the candle for my dear friend Rich, a Catholic, who I lost in 2002 and some more people who have passed but who are also living today.

I find the ritual cleansing and though the power may only be in the feeling I get from expressing my wishes for some that I hold dear, I look forward to it every time.

I had an excellent trip to NYC this past weekend and enjoyed so much sound and color but also the silence which is extraordinary when coming off of the busy city streets.