ABC Monday

I don't usually tune into ABC on Monday nights but since CBS wasn't up for entertaining me, I caught Dancing with the Stars and The Bachelor. I didn't realize these shows were comedies!

Dancing with the Stars is pretty cool actually. I have always wanted to take dance lessons and really enjoy seeing everyone practice and perform. The comedy element for me really stems from some evil desire to see Heather Mills lose her leg. It is awful but I share that with you reader. She has to buy new legs for this show because different ones allow her to do different dances. I just don't like her. I've heard that Paul McCartney treated her terribly and even treated Linda terribly but still, I have always had something against her. Her leg didn't fall off but she did wear horrible shoes and the interviewer on the show was even tacky enough to mention it. Fun show!

The Bachelor season premiere showed after DWS and it was very entertaining. Since it was the premiere, the 25 female contestants were introduced and that was great. Most of them looked like they had spent about a week resting in a tanning bed before visiting an amateur hair colorist. They were quite interesting and just as I'm watching now, a few of the girls just substituted tequila for eggs in birthday cake. I like to party but even I stick with the recipe on the cake mix box.

There have been lots of desperate attempts to get Andy's attention tonight," is my favorite quote by one of the girls, Stephanie. It was insane. There was the "girl in the short dress" who did the snake, the crazy steroid Lisa Rinna with small lips girl, the girl who sang the Star Spangled Banner, the girl who did the flips, the girl was was so drunk she fell (hilarious!) and others vying for Andy's roses.

I'm concluding this before the end of the cheesily titled "The Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman" but 10 girls are about to go home. I hope the drunk one, the muscular one and the girl who says "heinous" stay because there is sure to be drama with them.

We'll see. With a few of them, if they do get to stay, it must be love.